South Where??

Last week I was texting with GM who is originally from the small and sleepy town of South Porcupine.  Yes, it’s true, such a place does exist in Ontario.  For all of you Torontonian’s who think that Hwy 7 is cottage country, keep driving for about 8 hours and you might hit South Porcupine.  Ya, it’s true there is life outside of the GTA, they might all be lumber jacks and truckers and buy groceries at the same place they get gas and smokes, but people do live outside of the GTA.  They also don’t all have extra cars and appliances on their front lawns, but I suspect most do, not that there is anything wrong with that.  It’s just that I personally wouldn’t do it, unless you could make it look like a real avant-garde piece of art.  And yes, I used the term avant-garde correctly, I googled it.

Avant-garde (French pronunciation: [avɑ̃ɡaʁd]); from French, “advance guard” or “vanguard[1]) is a French term used in English as a noun or adjective to refer to people or works that are experimental or innovative, particularly with respect to art, culture, and politics.

Anyways, back to South Porcupine.  GM was telling me that he just stopped in North bay to get gas, and North Bay is way the eff up there in Northern Ontario too (this is just for the Torontonian’s who are completely geographically challenged) as he was on his way to visit his sister.  I actually have no idea if his sister still lives in South Porcupine, I suspect not, however I got to thinking how ironic it is that there is a place called South Porcupine which is 4 hours north of North Bay.  Anyone else find this a little bewildering (god I love the Thesaurus)?


July 23, 2012. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Repressed Memories

We all have them, incidents from our childhood that are just too horrific to keep in the forefront of our minds, so we repress them.  A lot of therapists get paid a lot of money to help people remember these thoughts, I remember all of mine.  Problem is, B & B vehemently deny all of this shite really happened.  I dont’ need a therapist I need parents who are honest.  Here is one of my memories, one of these incidents that according to my loving and adoring parents ‘just didn’t happen’.

It was dark in the back of whatever late eighties, early nighties style car my parents were driving and I was in my car seat.  (This memory goes way to when I was still in a car seat, and since people are always telling me how young I look I have officially changed my aged. I was born in 1987!)  My parents were obviously not paying attention, I don’t know what they were doing exactly as I believe at this point I was still sleeping.  Maybe they were drunk; as drinking and driving was socially acceptable until 1980 when MADD was formed, but it took a good 15 years to really catch on  (ok, not really and my parents don’t drink and drive…at least not often).  Anyways, I awoke with a start when we hit the back of a truck and our bumper was stuck on the top of the trucks bumper so I was now reclining in my child seat and awake!  B & B tell me I am absolutely without a doubt WRONG, because of course how can I compete with B’s knowitallism, and because ‘how is it possible for car bumper to get stuck on top of a truck bumper’??  I don’t know, I was like 2!  I like to think that this actually did happen, because why else would I remember it.  And something else really terrible must have happened that B & B sheltered me from and they repressed because it’s just too horrible to remember.  Like the truck driver was really a serial killer and he was dumping his latest victim in the ditch and we got away in the nick of time.  I think maybe they need therapy, that is some effed up stuff right there.  I hope after reading this they get the help they need.

I know, it’s been a while people, and I have been inspired by some kick a$$ blogs to be a touch more creative in my ramblings.  Enjoy!  I am off to drink (but not drive) with T as she has just informed me that she is an Avid Drinker.  🙂  Cheers

July 19, 2012. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.